The Ultimate Selfie: A snapshot of where you are…right now.
Pushing through the feeling of “I’m not enough”
In a selfie-centric world, full of “beautifying” filters, it’s suuuuuper easy to get down on yourself. The constant stream of what everyone else is doing can make us miserable about our choices and leads to a frantic feeling of not doing enough.
“I’m not traveling enough!” “I’m not working enough!” “I’m not making enough food from a starter!” And, the most personal one for me, “I’m not fit enough!” (Dang. That’s hard to admit.)
As comparative natures go, dancers are about as hard on themselves as anyone can be. Because our livelihoods depend on how we look and our capabilities as compared to others, we are in constant physical assessment. That leads to feelings of anxiety and/or superiority in compared to others.
So, to combat the mental sting of all that pressure, I started a practice years ago of snapshotting where I am – honestly – every so often. I didn’t put any rules around it, but I did feel like it was important to step out of my physical self-assessment mode to honor where I was/am mentally, emotionally, and in relationship to myself, family, and community.
Where I am is exactly right
This account of where I am and how I feel is just that: a snapshot. But I find it helpful to check-in regularly to make notes of how I’m changing. I try to not make judgments about what I might have said at any point in my past. I try to be super honest about where I am in the present.
Fundamentally, I believe that a whole person is a healthy person. So I’m sharing today’s snapshot with you:
Right now, I am:
- a mom
- a wife
- a daughter
- a sister
- an aunt
- a cousin
These terms all define me in relationship to other people. I adore these terms because they both anchor me and elevate me.
Right now, I am:
- an entrepreneurial businesswoman
- a stakeholder in my community
- a teacher
These terms all define me in relationship to my goals. In these roles I am working to advance my future, to serve my community, and to support my students.
Right now, I am:
- engaged
- focused
- concerned
- overwhelmed
- active
- hopeful
These feelings take turns running through my head and my heart as I consider our immediate future in this country, and the world at large for my children.
Right now, I am:
- happy
- satisfied
- proud
- at peace
- strong
That’s it! These feelings are my truth. Today. I would like to say they are true every day, but they aren’t. Alas, I’m human. Frustration, confusion, anger, exhaustion, fear, and relief have all been part of my truth. Wife and mother have not!
The ultimate selfie
With so little in the world we can count on, this exercise reminds me that allowing for growth and change – both inside of ourselves and outwardly in the world – is necessary. It’s not always fun, but it’s still necessary!
As we evolve and our values and commitments change we have to allow for the definition of ourselves to change, too. That can be challenging to do with people who, though they love us, have us set in a particular way in their minds. (Grandma still thinks you’re 8? Your old bestie still thinks you are 16?)
I hope you’ll take a moment now to acknowledge and honor your truth today. It’s not about being perfect. Don’t write this list for anyone but yourself. Don’t post it. Don’t share it. Just be proud. Right now. Exactly as you are.
That’s the ultimate selfie.